A Difficult Week

Here I am facing another first! Our 51st Wedding Anniversary was last Saturday. Quite a change from last years celebration I was alone...I guess I could have made an effort to be with someone but I did not have the energy! I made a Valentine wreath for my honey's grave and drove out there only to find his stone almost covered with snow....the Christmas wreath I had put on was hardly visible so I drove home to get a shovel.....I returned to find the snow hard and chunky...I chopped the layers away and made a path to the stone, cleared it and placed the pretty new wreath on...tying it tight around the vase as the wind howled around me. When I chose the spot I only thought of how much he loved the water and did not think about the cold winter wind blowing across the lake.
Over the years I saved the cards that Rich gave me...they are all in a large photo box so I am comforted by them now...he always picked the most romantic cards and ALWAYS added his own sweet sentiment! Iknow now why I saved them...I can hear his sweet words and visualize his eyes tearing up as I would read them.
People tell me I am soooooo blessed to have such a wonderful love to look back on and should be soo thankful...should that make me miss him less or make me stronger? 54 of my 67 years were spent with him, and I can't put a time table on this pain......
I know my Lord is there...all the promises are in my head...I am in the word...I read his truth, and I pray like crazy! Will I serve the Lord again...YES....will I write his book..YES!
Whoever reads this I ask you to be patient with me.....and please pray for me....knowing people are standing in the gap for me means so much. I am so thankful for the support and love I have been given......I know my God will fulfill His purpose in Me!!